Is this a safe space? Can I "speak my truth," as the loonies on TikTok say? OK, here goes… I never liked Girl Scout cookies. Phew, I feel better now. I always thought that was an unpopular opinion, but now that the truth is out there — the truth that those boxes are filled with toxic metals and literal weed-killer — I feel like I can finally throw that out there. ZACH DEAN: The Girl Scouts Have Been Poisoning Us For Decades, Explosive Study Shows And the thing is, my disdain for Girl Scout cookies has never had anything to do with the poisonous ingredients (although that certainly doesn't help). My problem with Girl Scout cookies is that they're just… not good. I feel like whenever something like this comes out, the media react with shock: Oh, God, can you believe all the bad stuff in (insert junk food here)?! Yes, Susan, I can. Because I don't buy a box of frosted chocolate peanut butter sprinkled delights, expecting them to be health food. But the fact is, Girl Scout cookies are just not worth the calories (or swallowing Roundup). There are so many desserts out there that offer more bang for your buck. Offer me a fresh-baked, homemade ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookie, and I'm going to have a hard time saying no. Offer me a box of stale Trefoils? GTF outta here. Which brings me to the next thing I hate about Girl Scout cookies: the fact that every year around this time, I have to bob and weave my way out of the grocery store to get away from the little girls camped outside trying to sell them to me. Now, because I'm not a monster, I cannot look those sweet little angels in the face and tell them their product is trash. So when they do catch me, I have to lie straight through my teeth and tell them, "Oh shoot! I just bought some yesterday!" Oh, and you can't just use the, "I don't have cash" excuse anymore because those crafty little f*ckers have Venmo now. Anyway, I'm glad the truth is finally out about those nasty little cookies and hopefully soon — along with changing their ingredients — the Girl Scouts of America will find a less intrusive way to hawk the boxes than sending their tiny pony-tailed soldiers out to harass innocent grocery shoppers. I'm fired up. Are you? Let's do some Nightcaps. You Want Fries With That, Demi Moore? I'll tell you what is better than stale cookies 200% of the time: french fries. My french fry rankings: You know who else appreciates french fries? Demi Moore. And after her upset loss at the Oscars on Sunday, the should-have-been Best Actress comforted herself with two whole trays of them! Actually, I cannot confirm if she ate both trays by herself, but I wouldn't judge her if she did. Demi's daughter, Tallulah, posted that photo of her mom with the caption, "MY winner" after the disappointment at the Oscars. And honestly, who among us hasn't wallowed in our sorrows wearing a big ol' cozy bathrobe, hugging a dog and stuffing our face with carbs? This is pretty much me at the end of every Tennessee Vols football season. Keep your head up, Demi. You may not have won an Academy Award, but at least you look like THIS. I don't care how much plastic surgery and Botox she's had done. That woman is a stone-cold stunner at 62-YEARS-OLD. Shakira's Lambo Is A Big PITA Speaking of stone-cold stunners, Shakira bought herself a custom Lamborghini after her separation from Gerard Piqué a while back to celebrate her single life. It's a bright purple Urus with two-toned white and neon green interior. Probably not the color scheme I would have gone with, but I don't see myself customizing a Lambo anytime soon, either. Maybe I'll take my GMC Terrain to the body shop and see if they can make it look like that. It's totally the same thing, right? I digress. Shakira must have gotten tired of those ugly ass colors, too, because the singer decided in November to hold a contest where one lucky fan could win her Lambo. I am unsure of the exact criteria to enter the contest, but I think you had to make some cool Shakira fan art or something. It doesn't matter. Because you never would have been able to compete with the winning submission. Check this out: I can't even imagine how long that video took. You could give me 100 years and I wouldn't be able to recreate that. So this Michael Mejia fella wins the Lambo, and now it sounds like he's regretting all the valuable hours he spent on that contest submission. Because the car is costing him a fortune! Sure, Shakira paid to ship the car and even gifted him $90,000 to register, insure and maintain the luxury SUV. But, apparently, $90,000 doesn't go very far when it comes to taking care of a custom Lambo. "So far, all the taxes for transferring the car, legal matters, and insurance for six months have been paid. And now, the federal taxes are due at the end of the year," Mejia explained recently on El Gordo y La Flaca. He says the Lambo is costing him more than $2,000 a month in insurance and that he has to spend $70 to fill the gas tank up every two days. Joke's on you, my guy. The insurance on my GMC is only $78 a month, so who's really the winner here? He must drive a lot, though, because filling up the tank every two days seems pretty excessive. The good news for Michael is that he could probably fetch a pretty penny for Shakira's Lambo from a rich car collector. Just don't wreck it beforehand! I'm sick just thinking about that bill. Kid Rock Tries Out New Grok AI Kid Rock (or as I prefer to call him, Bob) took some time out of his alleged secret gallivanting with Lauren Boebert over the weekend to hit the golf course with Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Mae Musk (I think) and some guy with one leg. I mean no disrespect, I just don't know who that guy is. Anyway, after the round, Elon let Bob try out his new Grok AI app, and it was nothing short of remarkable. Unlike those boring AI services like Chat GPT and Gemini, Grok does not hold back. It has no time for political correctness, and it speaks to you the same manner you speak to it. Which, in Kid Rock's case, means a lot of cursing and f-bombs. WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE Speaking of AI, I have to address this sex doll I saw in the New York Post. (There's a connection here, I promise.) Apparently, there's this new AI-powered sex doll out of China that was designed not only to, well, do the obvious BUT ALSO to coddle the fragile ego of its human companion. (The word "owner" just sounds icky to me, even though the sex doll is not, in fact, a real woman.) I can't embed the YouTube video because there's an age restriction on it, but there's an eight-minute demonstration showing a MetaBox feature where the doll will have full conversations with you. She'll talk about anything — from what you like in bed to climate change and world politics. She'll also tell you how smart you are (even if you're a total moron) and comfort you with phrases like, "It doesn’t matter, two minutes is awesome!" The Chinese are so soft. If that AI sex doll was powered by Grok, it would tell you, "Grow a beard, hit the gym and go talk to some real women, you pathetic loser." Damn, I might have accidentally just solved the "male loneliness epidemic" and saved Hooters all at once. Elon, let's get this going. One More Thing: Bringing Back The Woolly Mammoth The Woolly Mammoth has been extinct for thousands of years now, but scientists are trying to change that! I'm not sure why, of all the animals, we're reviving a massive hairy elephant instead of, say, the Dodo Bird or that cool Tasmanian tiger. Or even why we need to bring back long-gone creatures in the first place. With all due respect to the Dodo Bird, couldn't we focus those efforts on — I don't know — curing cancer or something? Clearly, no one in the scientific community asked me. Using some DNA from a 30,000-year-old mummified woolly mammoth found in Canada a couple of years ago, scientists have managed to genetically engineer a mouse with mammoth-like shaggy fur. The woolly mouse also has the ability to withstand the cold. I know evolution is a thing (unless you don't believe in evolution, in which case don't @ me), but how long — exactly — would it take for a woolly mouse to evolve into a woolly mammoth? That feels a little bit like trying to reverse-evolve a chihuahua into a Grey Wolf. But then I realized they were just taking a page out of Big Pharma's book and testing on mice. If the technology works, they'll start trying it on elephants. Which makes a lot more sense. Bringing animals back from extinction? What could POSSIBLY go wrong? I'm going to need a bathrobe and a tray of french fries to get that terrifying thought out of my head. OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.