DONALD Trump swore he would be the one calling the shots but it still looks like he has handed the White House over to X boss Elon Musk – probably in exchange for a free lifetime supply of Tesla golf carts. The real kicker? When the billionaire’s four-year-old son, Lil X, was spotted wandering the Oval Office this week, he became the most mature person to occupy the room since January 20. Meanwhile, as Trump screams into his Truth Social media, for many, the world’s richest man has become America’s new boss. President Musk has a lot to thank Vice-President Trump for. New York State residents still haunted by their exes were given the perfect Valentine’s revenge. The VIA Aquarium in Schenectady allowed people to name a cockroach after them for just $1. It was the ultimate petty but satisfying tribute to that “special someone”.Nothing says closure like calling your ex a bug that’s best known for spreading diseases. For her 104th birthday, Loretta had just one wish: to get thrown in the slammer. And because there’s no age limit on crime-free curiosity, the Livingston County Sheriff’s Office was more than happy to oblige. The Avon Nursing & Rehabilitation resident in New York took a VIP tour of the county jail just two days after her big birthday. According to the sheriff’s office, Loretta had never been behind bars and simply wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Thankfully, she was released without bail. Thieves in Pennsylvania have stolen 100,000 eggs from the back of a trailer. And with egg prices soaring, police suspect an industry insider may be behind the crime. Trooper First Class Megan Frazer said: “We’re relying on leads from people from the community. So we’re hoping that somebody knows something, and they’ll call us and give us some tips.” Sounds like they’re scrambling to crack the case. When her ex threatened to call the police, Julissa Negron whacked him with a sex toy. Florida police officers arrived at the home in Fort Pierce to find a domestic dispute that had taken an unexpected turn. Negron, 50, was in town briefly to grab her things before moving to Connecticut to “start her life over” without her 52-year-old husband. Reports say she was naked when officers arrived to arrest her for domestic battery and, perhaps unsurprisingly, smelled strongly of alcohol. Tequilla Shian Jones, 23, of Georgia, says her mum was torn between “Tequila Sunrise” and “Shaylee Shian” when naming her, so her dad stepped in and decided. Nice one, Dad.