From now on, Charlie McAvoy wants to be done with his Four Nations Faceooff experience that effectively ended his season in February. But before he laid it to rest for good, the Bruin’ defenseman opened a vein and let reporters know what the last several months were like for him. It hasn’t been pretty. “Mentally, emotionally, physically I’ve gone through so much because of that damn experience. It cost me my season. It cost me my sanity, in a lot of ways,” said McAvoy at the B’s break-up day at Warrior Ice Arena. “None of this has been easy and I get emotional when I talk about it. Look, yeah, it was an incredible experience and I waited my whole life to be a part of something like that. But the way that it ended and the aftermath of it and what I had to go through, it cost me a lot more than I was willing to give. And that’s unfortunate. But it’s over now. Now I can finally put it to bed and after we talk about it, I don’t want to talk about it ever again, honestly. Because it did cost me a lot.” McAvoy suffered an AC joint injury in his right shoulder when he was checked from behind by Finland’s Joel Armia into a goal post. He was clearly shaken up but returned to play that game and, after getting treatment, suited up to play in Team USA’s big game against Canada in a spectacular Saturday night shodown in Montreal in which he was a key physical presence in the Americans’ victory. But over the next 48 hours, after a long night of travel between a snowy Montreal and snowy Boston, he developed an infection, with the pain in his shoulder preventing him from being able to sleep. It was already decided that he was not going to play in the Monday game against Sweden, but as the redness around the shoulder worsened during that day, he had to go to Mass. General Hospital. He underwent surgery to deal with the infection and it was discovered that the initial shoulder injury was worse than believed. “I didn’t think it would cost my season. I really didn’t. One, I woke up and realized that they had fixed it and (was told) I had a Grade 5. I didn’t know that,” said McAvoy. “You wake up to that and I didn’t know what the ramifications to that were. I’ve had an AC before and I was like “Oh, I’ll be back” and that just wasn’t the case. I think from the beginning, I probably could have known that I wasn’t going to make it back. It was a longer rehab than I knew it would be. Maybe it was me just being a fool, but I still was skating.” While he said there was some anger, he said it has only been directed at what the end result was, not at any person. It’s still a mystery how he contracted the infection. “It could have been my Under Armor that was dirty, or my gear or this or that, or a pillow, or anything. So that’s why there’s no ill will with anybody at all. And guess what? We can sit here and talk about it and the head of infectious disease at Mass. General Hospital doesn’t know how it happened. So we can speculate all day – and trust me, I have. You think I don’t want to blame somebody for this?” said McAvoy. “I’ve spent that time and I’ve shed those tears, but the reality is there’s no one to blame. It’s just bad luck that this happened.” He only stopped taking the antibiotics last week and he has not been cleared to play for Team USA in the World Championships in Denmark and Sweden later this month. That’s just as well. “If I was (able to play), I certainly would have a little bit of guilt behind the fact I wasn’t able to come back and help my team and then to go play hockey somewhere else, it wouldn’t sit great with me,” said McAvoy. “But I’m happy it’s out of my hands anyway because I’m not cleared and I don’t have a choice in it. I wanted to get back to play with these guys, I wanted to embrace this. If it’s going to suck, it’s going to suck together at least.” He said skating with the team over the last month-plus had given him a purpose and there was hope that, if the team was able to make a run to the playoffs, he might be ready. “I would say that if I were to play right now and the games were meaningful and the playoffs started next week, I think we would be having a serious conversation about trying to clear me to do that,” said McAvoy. “But this was going to take a while to get back to 100 percent. I think I didn’t know that at the time.” While his experience with the Four Nations Faceoff was more than a little complicated, it does not dampen his desire to play in the Olympics next year. “Absolutely not. That is my absolute dream to play in an Olympics,” said McAvoy. “The guys were incredible, the staff was incredible. Every part of that Four Nations was a dream come true. There’s a reason why I played in that game, because I’m not missing this game that I dreamt of my whole life. It’s the aftermath of that and it cost me my year and I don’t want to say there’s a regret but an acceptance of what happened and it sucks and I’m still coming to grips with it. But I wouldn’t trade it. There are things I’d trade, but the experience I wouldn’t trade, the friendships I wouldn’t trade. That’s what you dream of. And I dreamt of that on a broader scale,, being in the Olympics…I would do anything to be on that team and to have that experience next year.” McAvoy is looking forward to a summer of training and, as early as next week, putting his head together with David Pastrnak and Hampus Lindholm and management to figure out the best way forward to restore the winning culture. And he’s confident that the shoulder will not hamper him from playing physical brand of hockey. “There is absolutely nothing hindering about an AC joint,” he said. “This isn’t a labral tear or a rotator cuff. It’s bone joint. So the answer is no. There’s nothing that will hinder me in any way moving forward.”