It might be time to start looking through the car brochures. I don't really need another car, I've already got four, but I think I might be entitled to another. You see, earlier this week, I had a little accident. In the searing heatwave, I tried to open a large, plate-glass sliding window, which appeared to have seen better days. And no sooner had I lifted it up to get some air into the room, it came crashing down onto my fingers. The pain was momentarily horrendous, the blood-flow phenomenal, but a couple of bandages later, I put it to the back of my mind and carried on with my work. Then this week it was revealed that the number of people qualifying for enhanced Personal Independence Payments - which include a free Motability car - has increased form 734,126 in January 2019, to 1.75 million this year. Now I realise much of this may be down to Covid, but the research also revealed that the benefit was being paid out to people with acne, food intolerance, Tourettes, alcohol abuse and writer's cramp. There were even 13 people claiming the benefit for 'factitious disorders', which basically appears to be people pretending to be ill. Now I don't have acne, although I'm wish all this had been around when I was 13. And I'm sure I suffer from writer's cramp from time to time. Tomatoes make me sick, so that's the food intolerance box ticked. And I've now got several very sore fingers. So, I'll have a blue Nissan please. Of course, I've heard a lot over the past few weeks from people with genuine medical conditions, who were undertandably fearful about the Government's plans to tighten the criteria for Pip payments. These people need to be treated with compassion, and the Government has a duty to ensure that they do not become collateral damage in a crackdown on abuse. Nevertheless, I cannot see how there can be any possible reason why people with spots or imaginary illnesses should be entitled to a free car at the taxpayers' expense. Is it really so hard to give the benefits to people who really need them, and tell the chancers where to get off? Did you get a ticket then? Today, China will be hosting the World Humanoid Robot Games, following a taster earlier in the week which saw 'four teams of humanoid robots faced off in fully autonomous 3-on-3 soccer matches', said a report. I can see the attraction. I don't suppose the robots will be pictured in the Sunday papers in a strip club at 3am, off their faces on laughing gas, and I doubt if their agents will tell their clubs that they're off to Saudi Arabia if they won't pay £330,000 a week for warming the bench. I don't know how the match finished up, but it was reported that several of the robots had to be stretchered off by staff after falling over. A bit like watching Chelsea v Manchester City, then. The question that none of these boffins seem to consider, though, is where are all these robots going to live? Britain, like much of the developed world, is already at bursting point, and it's only a matter of time before armies of robots start rocking up in rubber dinghies on the beach at Dover.