A woman says she is "broken but still breathing" after a five-year relationship with an abusive man who made her life hell. Natalie, who asked us not to use her surname, is speaking out on the nightmare she endured at the hands of Martyn Evans not only to raise awareness of domestic abuse but also because she believes there were times when the criminal justice system failed her. The now-27-year-old began her relationship with Evans – who is nine years her senior and from Caerphilly county where he plays for Bedwas rugby club – in May 2017 after he messaged her on a dating website. Natalie felt there were hints of a controlling personality even on their first date. "We went down to Porthcawl and he was going: 'Have a drink.' I'm not a drinker but because he was saying: 'Go on' I eventually had half a pint." After just one month they moved into a rented home together. "At the time I didn't know what love-bombing was but now that's how I look back on it," said Natalie, who felt the fast progression of the relationship was driven by Evans. "He bought me nice things, we would go out for dinner, he would come home from work with bunches of flowers. He was very interested in being part of the family – he spent time with my nephews. My mum said he painted the picture of a perfect man." Two months into the relationship Evans was jailed after he was found guilty of being in charge of a car while over the alcohol limit. Cardiff magistrates imposed a six-week jail term as he had two similar crimes on his record. Natalie was concerned but decided to give Evans another chance after he allegedly assured her: "I wasn't even driving the car – they just found me with the keys." Following Evans' release from prison she accompanied him to a probation appointment and an officer referred her to the domestic violence disclosure scheme – also known as Clare's Law – which gives people the right to know if their partner has a history of violence or abuse. Soon afterwards Natalie received a call from South Wales Police. "All they told me was that he had previous for domestic abuse. They wouldn't give any further details. I questioned Martyn on it and he said: 'My ex pushed me so I pushed her back.' I rationalised it to myself." The next Clare's Law disclosure would come in 2022 when Natalie – who was still with Evans – had an unexpected call from South Wales Police. "They told me about [another incident of domestic abuse] that I hadn't known about before," she said. "I remember saying: 'Why wasn't that told to me before?'" Even after that conversation Natalie was not aware of the full scale of Evans' record. It was not until her interview with WalesOnline that we informed her he had convictions for crimes against three other women – one for assault by beating, the other two for criminal damage – as well as for a public order offence against an unnamed victim. Natalie says Evans became increasingly controlling and jealous after the Covid pandemic began in 2020. "He didn't like it if I put on make-up or wore a vest top or had any skin showing. He wouldn't allow me to wear dresses above the knee. He made me stop dyeing my hair red." Innocuous messages from men would allegedly send Evans into a rage. "I was not long qualified as a door supervisor and I would get messages from male colleagues about things like swapping shifts," said Natalie. "Martyn was always going on my phone. I changed my password three times and he'd watch me putting my password in. One time he saw a message from a colleague and blocked me in the kitchen doorway asking: 'Who the f***ing hell is this person?'" Natalie says there were moments when the abuse became physical. It became a regular occurrence for her to call police but at the time she did not pursue prosecutions because of her fear of Evans, she said. "Martyn wasn't embarrassed that the police kept turning up. He would say: 'The police are laughing at you.' One time I told him I was going to leave him and he picked up a frame with a photo of my granddad and threw it at me. Later I went to the police station and said I needed help." Gwent Police then applied for a domestic violence protection order. The application, from October 2022, states Natalie was at "high risk" and "disclosed that he has assaulted her two weeks ago inside the home address". It goes on: "The history shows seven previous domestic violence incidents over the last 10 months all of which show as medium and high risk... The couple currently live together and it is believed [Evans] poses a current threat towards the victim which will be exacerbated if this case is NFA (no further action)." In the hearing at Newport Magistrates' Court a police officer said the reported assault had involved Evans throwing a plastic photo frame which hit Natalie's leg without causing injury. "She declined to make a statement to police because she was scared," the officer added. "Mr Evans was interviewed and denied the assault." The court then heard from Natalie who said she did not want to pursue the order. The magistrates found that on the balance of probabilities there had been threats of violence but that an order was not necessary because Natalie did not support one. Reflecting on that hearing Natalie believes the magistrates should have considered why she might have changed her position. She claims Martyn had spoken to her before the hearing and "told me what to say". She added: "I was so scared of him that I said I was happy for him to come home. The court knew police had a high-risk marker for me and there had been so many calls over the past year. My abuser was sitting centimetres away from me." Natalie would later speak to a magistrate while appearing at an event for domestic abuse victims to share their experiences. "That magistrate told me the court had failed me," said Natalie. "She told me that when she's dealing with a domestic violence protection notice if the victim turns up she will get the perpetrator to leave the courtroom so she can have a conversation with the victim to let them know they're safe." In the final months of the relationship Natalie's mental health plummeted. "I was making myself ill because I was working so much, taking every shift I could get, but I did it because work was my safe place. When I put on that uniform it made me feel like a person with a reason to keep going. I never let people see I was broken but one time I remember my aunt told me I had lost my sparkle. I'd always been happy and bubbly before." The relationship finally ended on December 22, 2022, after Natalie felt she could take no more and arranged accommodation with the council having registered her as high risk for domestic abuse. She claims Evans put a Christmas tree and boxes of glass ornaments in front of the door to stop her leaving but that she felt safe to do so after she texted 999 and police attended the home. Leaving the relationship did not spell an end to the nightmare as Evans began sending vile messages such as: "I'm gonna ruin your life" and "Now you got no-one since [your aunt] has died haha." He branded her "a mutt" and wrote: "I would love if suddenly you stop breathing." The comment about Natalie's aunt was particularly painful because she had just returned from the funeral when she opened TikTok and saw the message. "My aunt was everything to me," she said. A non-molestation order was granted in September 2023 after Natalie made an application based on a pattern of abuse. She said: "That piece of paper felt like my freedom card and the messages stopped. But then they started again under a fake account. In January 2024 I attempted suicide because I couldn't deal with it anymore." Natalie made reports to police but there were failings in the case which later led to an apology from the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS). In a letter the CPS told her that a prosecutor had concluded there was a realistic prospect of conviction for stalking. But at an earlier stage Gwent Police had failed to include enough information in its file. The CPS had then told the force to provide all evidence by March 11, 2024, yet it did not do so until March 28. That evidence was not reviewed by the CPS until May 2 and by then the six-month limit for a stalking case had passed. The CPS upheld Natalie's complaint over the failings and said it was "truly sorry". Evans, of Bryn Dolwen in Bedwas, did plead guilty at Newport Magistrates' Court to an offence of breaching a non-molestation order by contacting Natalie under the online alias of 'Big man'. Magistrates imposed a 12-month community order with 70 hours of unpaid work as well as a restraining order barring Evans from contacting Natalie for two years. But Natalie felt the sentence was "not justice" and the latest in a series of occasions when she felt let down by the system – including the incomplete Clare's Law disclosures, the failings after the stalking complaint, and the handling of the 2022 hearing for a domestic violence protection order. She said: "My whole life was altered to the point I was scared to get on a bus because he would send messages saying he could see me. I lived and breathed my job and I haven't been able to work because I've been absolutely petrified. I've slept with a knife next to my bed. Everything I do now is in a shadow. "People don't talk about how domestic abuse victims have to restart their whole life. When I left him I moved into a house with just a suitcase of clothes. My auntie gave me a foldout camp bed and a microwave and a charity gave me a sofa. "I've had to go on benefits because I have agoraphobia from the trauma and it's stopped me from working. I miss my job so much that I'll burst out crying. My paranoia over leaving the house is huge. "I've renewed my SIA [Security Industry Authority] licence. For the last year it's been sitting on my windowsill doing nothing but I've made it my goal to better my career because I'm not going to let him ruin it. I will get back to work. I am broken but I am still breathing." When we approached Evans for comment he lied: "I haven't got any criminal convictions." Asked if he had any remorse for his actions he replied: "No, not at all. F*** off." Evans is listed as a wing in Bedwas rugby club's Barbarians squad. Asked if he would remain part of the squad a club spokesman said: "We are not in possession of the full facts of this matter and believe this dispute to be between the two parties. We therefore, at this time, have no comment to make." The club did not respond when asked if it was already aware of Evans' record of crimes against women. What the authorities say Gwent Police defended its work in the stalking case. Its T/Superintendent Michael Preston said: "A file was submitted to the CPS in February 2024 for review and further information was requested by the CPS in March 2024. The CPS informed police that there was a time limit for prosecution of the offence meaning all evidence in the case must be submitted to them prior to April 13, 2024, for the case to be reviewed. The officer in the case provided the required information to the CPS promptly and within the required timescales of the time limited offence. We will work with the CPS to understand what has happened in this case and we are committed to working collaboratively to provide a good service for victims, especially victims of domestic abuse." A CPS spokesman said: “We take all reports of domestic abuse very seriously. Some offences have time limits set by law and in this case charging advice was not given within that time limit. We have apologised to the victim and provided a full explanation. We were still able to put a case before the court, however, for a different offence and the defendant was sentenced and a restraining order obtained." A South Wales Police spokesman said: "South Wales Police responded to a Clare’s Law application in 2017. Safeguarding officers took the decision to make a further disclosure when they were made aware of additional information about the individual." If you or someone you know is affected by domestic abuse visit the Live Fear Free website or call the helpline on 0808 80 10 800. Natalie also recommended Stand Up to Domestic Abuse which she said had been a "massive support". And the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.