The Penrith halfback is the best player in the world and is on track to have one of the greatest individual careers of all time, with Cleary already winning four titles in a row where he was judged the most valuable player on two occasions. But while his club form has been unrivalled, Cleary’s Origin record is now 8-9 after he lost his third decider. The Cleary discourse has always ranged from him being the GOAT to others pushing back because he hasn’t dominated rep footy, and the man himself concedes the criticism is warranted. “At the end of the day, I haven’t (owned Origin),” he said in the sheds. “I’m the harshest marker of myself anyway so I don’t really think what other people say is out of line because I think that of myself anyway. “At the end of the day, you feel like you’ve let down the boys that you play with in the state, and that’s what hurts the most. I let down myself and my own high standards. It’s frustrating.” The champion playmaker spent 20 minutes with his parents in the sheds discussing what went wrong on a night where the Maroons ambushed the Blues again to race out to a 20-0 half-time lead. Cleary looked dejected and addressed his emotions in a raw interview where he praised Queensland’s defence for throwing him off his game as they’ve done in previous deciders. “I feel terrible. It’s so frustrating,” he lamented after he didn’t set up any tries in the 24-12 loss. “It feels like I’ve been here before and then it’s happened again. It sucks. “I’ll definitely reflect, and that’s sort of already happening in my brain at the moment as I try to work out what happened. “It’s so frustrating because I probably didn’t adjust quickly enough to their rushing defence, and that played into their hands. “They were scrambling and saving tries, and we probably conceded them too easily. “I don’t want to say too much right now (about what I could have done) because I’m not 100 per cent sure, but I think I could have controlled it a little more and not played into that aggressive defence as much, which gave them confidence.” This game was supposed to be Cleary’s final frontier, but he’ll have to wait another year to tick it off his bucket list. “That’s sort of sinking in now,” he said. “It’s much like a grand final. It’s the biggest game of all, and if you lose, you have to wait another year to get back there. “It’s about growing from it and not kicking stones. The frustrating thing about rugby league is that you feel like you learnt lessons before, but there are always new lessons to learn. “No two rugby league games are ever the same so it’s constantly evolving and you’ve got to evolve your game.” Rival halfback Tom Dearden was the best player on the field in the decider and deservedly won the Wally Lewis Medal, with the Cowboys star full of praise for Cleary afterwards. “He’s a great player and you don’t take anything away from his game tonight,” he said. “We played really well and got our game on, and that’s what allowed us to control the game and win in the end. “Cleary is a special player and you’ve got to make sure you’re at your best to beat a team with a guy like Nathan playing for them.”