Fark NotNewsletter: TV in bars - sports, weather, and 80s cartoons Posted by NotNewsletterMonkey at 2025-04-09 7:41:55 PM (4 comments) | Permalink More: FarkBlog 18 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2025 at 7:41 PM (13 minutes ago) | Favorite | Watch | share: Copy Link ________________________ A message from Drew Curtis: ________________________ Hey everyone hope your week's been well. My week was interesting. It started raining here on Wednesday and didn't stop until Monday night. I live near the highest point in the area, but the Kentucky River isn't too far away and it tied for highest water levels ever recorded. I have a couple friends who live Down By The River. One of them sent a pic of him in a canoe, in his house, floating just below the hanging light fixture on his second floor. Google "Kentucky River flooding" and "Ohio River flooding". It isn't pretty. A lot of folks are going to be cleaning up for a while, waiting to find out where I'm needed to help. The NCAA Men's Basketball tournament finished this weekend. I always hope for some underdogs to win games, just to keep it interesting, but all in all it was pretty dull. Every year I always enter a No Surprises bracket where I just have all the favorites winning, and for the first time ever all four number one seeds made the Final Four. If Florida had lost to Auburn I would have won the pool. On the plus side all the games were really close, and the best part was an epic Duke Sucks meltdown. Duke went from having a 7pt lead with 33 seconds left in the game to losing by 3. More of that, please. Anyhow, sports: there's 6 weeks of English Football left to go, after which it's all baseball until August. Baseball's been getting more interesting lately, Tornado Bats are all the rage this year and there's been an uptick in scoring. MLB has been trying to tweak the rules to make the games more interesting, and so far it seems to be heading in the right direction. I'm actually not a huge sports guy but I watch in the background when I'm at a bar with friends, so I get a lot of this through osmosis. It's always fun to see other things on in the background too. Last night I was at a new neighborhood spot where one of the TVs was only showing Baywatch episodes, a show that I don't think could exist in this post-internet world. The pizza pub I play trivia at on Wednesdays has one TV always on Hanna-Barbera cartoons, I guess there's a channel for that. Thundarr the Barbarian comes on at 8:30, I've been rewatching it lately and my two main observations are 1) it's not great and 2) George Lucas probably could have won a lawsuit if he'd filed one. I would have also said Jack Kirby probably could have won a lawsuit against them as well, except I found out Kirby actually did work on the show. Lots of square faces, high collars, and capes, basic Kirby stuff. Also someone who worked on that show really didn't like wizards. No livestream this week - there's a bunch of material but it's not coming together in the right way, so look for us to return next week!________________________ End Drew transmission ________________________ Top CommentsSome of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week.If your post isn't here, assume that NotNewsletterMonkey couldn't think of a tagline.(The Smartest and Funniest for the past month are found elsewhere.) Funny:- OldRod: "Kudos for her saying that next to a real-time stock crash graphic."- Cheron can compete with this YouTuber Smart:- TaDu: "My impression that Walmart hates humanity is unchanged."- markie_farkie reminds us that we had Black Monday, now we have Trump Thursday. Or Orange Thursday. Make sure everyone remembers. - LineNoise was lucky enough to bump into the star of "Real Genius," and other movies, twice.- blondambition wonders why anyone would invite people they know are assholes to their party.- TelemonianAjax: "If you don't know they can be trusted then they can't be."- no1curr is pretty sure low birthrates aren't due to screen time. PoliticsPolitics Funny:- gunga galunga quoted TFG talking about the word "groceries" being "old-fashioned." Politics Smart:- SpectroBoy: "The condescension and derision here is not because she's a woman, you thundering moron."- t3knomanser spotted tariffs on uninhabited islands.- shreve_danyahoo.com notes the board Tesla *could* fire Elon...- Private_Citizen: "Yep, that's a great way to start one hell of an insurgency."- DoctorCal hopes the Luigi case makes it back to the front page. CSB Sunday Morning theme - "Your favorite April Fool's Day prank"Last week, Farkers were challenged to share their favorite April Fool's Day pranks.Funny:- DingDong_Pants convinced their kids to wait for the bus on a Saturday.- IamRat kidnapped their boss's Mr Potato Head.- Cheesehead_Dave tricked their dad into reading a year-old newspaper.- vudukungfu replaced all the brochures with ones from random places. Smart:- educated: "I think there's a distinction to be made between goodhearted pranks and mean-spirited pranks."- MDI_BugMan got everyone to dress like the principal.- Kitty2.0 tricked her mother into thinking she was going to be a grandma... every April Fools, for 14 years.- MusicMakeMyHeadPound pretended they had a flesh eating virus.- The Coquettish Haberdasher tricked their grandma with an Infinite Thread. Top Contest EntriesSome of the top-voted contest entries from last week, sorted by how likely they are to still be open. Go send in your own submissions, they're fun even if you don't get the most votes! Photoshops: Since there's a lot of these, everybody (and every thread) gets one and only one.- Thoaar put Miley in the way of the catch- Mock26 forgot to take the lens cap off.- Yammering_Splat_Vector matched the depth of a snail shell with this mountain range.- Surly U. Jest fears TFG's essence remains inside.- RedZoneTuba watched a squirrel attack.- Terrapin Bound "Time Enough at Last"- starfish01 turned the staircase into a beautiful tiled bathroom.- samsquatch couldn't disarm the bomb.- Driver saw the Ministry of Silly Walks out in the snow.- SubsequentDamage stole the statue's kidneys.- west.la.lawyer added the asteroid to a vintage 3D space comic.- I_Am_Weasel wandered onto the wrong desert set.- MyDogGoldi opened a window to this mall's past.- Octafrye really shouldn't have looked away. Ow.- p51d007 replaced the Washington Monument with a massive... chalk.- Stephen_Falken's fishing was rudely interrupted by a cargo ship.- LesserEvil dragged their SO back home.- whatsupchuck watched the dinosaurs race on their toy track.- Floki ponders about the sleeping figure. - Thoaar made a game show out of this abandoned building. Captions:"Caption this bovine survey"- The Third Man: "What are you doing, stepcow?"- Flowery Twats: "Rare, medium or well done?"- UncleDirtNap: "Look, if you can't show proof of citizenship then you're on the next ICE flight outta here." "Caption this dance instructor"- Big Koala: "But which one is the real me, Mr. Bond, and not just a reflection?"- UncleDirtNap: "We're performing for the President ladies, you've got to get that goose steps higher." "Caption this inspirational coach"- brachiopod: "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty!"- Big Koala: "I said, don't I look like the next 'Ow My Balls!' photoshop image?" "Caption this stop at the Farmer's Market"- brachiopod: "Look, the lowest I can go is $1.89 a pound for the kid, and that's cuttin' my own throat!- grokca: "I'm just waiting for my husband to pull up. OH MY GOD!" "Caption this medieval performance"- Klippoklondike: "Servant: 'Sir, you've put a tariff on horses, I'm afraid they cost 3 1/2 kingdoms now...'"- JeffSon069: "...so the bear asks the rabbit, 'Do you have trouble with shiat sticking to your fur?'..."- Porous Horace: "The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?" Farktography theme: "Cities"Last week, Farkers were challenged to show us images of cities.- All Latest visited Stockholm.- bikkurikun visited modern-day Siena, Italy- kittyhas1000legs unearthed an ancient image of a camera store.- SubsequentDamage captured high-rise construction.- MorningBreath showed us the Disco Chicken at night. Upcoming Fark Parties It's easy to plan for a Fark Party - you're effectively saying that "I'm going to be here at this time, come hang out." Submit one! Tintar's Memorial Service *April 21, 2025 - 10:00 AM (local time)*(About 2 weeks to go!) Chicago Fark Party*May 16-18; 7:00 AM (local time) Fark Headlines of the WeekA selection of some of the top headlines from last week. Luigi in the sky with violence If I'm deciphering this correctly, one of the last WW2 Bletchley Park codebreakers has just died at the age of 5 Welcome to "Orange is the New Black Thursday" Best. Arrest. Ever Lunger Ohio to measles: You're locked in here with *ME* Late night dining duo that IHOP waitress suspected of preparing to dine n' dash illustrate to manager they're interested in merely shooting up the joint as foretold by Ezekiel 25:17 Aint no underage house party like a ex-Florida Principals underage house party cause an ex-Florida Principals underage house party don't stop until she's in jail Enjoy your little donkeys all you giant farkin' jackasses Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned fashion designers who have never changed a diaper have no business designing baby clothes. On the Quiz itself, mrs. badcrumblecame out on top with 938, followed by Captain Orr in second with 935 and VooDoo_Blonde right behind in third with 934. TheMothership made fourth with 910, and Subtonic made it into the top five with 908. The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the new sports league from TMRW Sports. It helps if you know that TMRW was formed by pro golfers Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy in conjunction with NBC Sports/Golf Channel exec Mike McCarley. Only 26% of quiztakers knew that their flagship product is the TMRW Golf League, or TGL, which combines high-tech virtual golf simulation with real putting. Matches are played in indoor stadiums with loud music and flashy lights, and fans are encouraged to cheer. The league will be featured in the upcoming Happy Gilmore 2 on Netflix on July 25 (you know you're going to watch it, you're just not going to tell anyone), but if you want to see more about how it works now, ESPN has a highlight reel on YouTube to give you an idea. The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about yet another stupid American tourist. 82% of quiztakers knew that some rando decided to re-enact "The Gods Must Be Crazy" by leaving a can of Coke along with some coconuts on Sentinel Island, the home of a remote tribe of people who really don't like visitors and are heavily protected by the government because they likely have zero immunity to modern diseases. While of course we'd like to be friends and introduce them to reality TV, modern policing methods, and,mobile game microtransactions, they really don't seem interested and have been quite hostile to visitors in the past. In response, Donald Trump has raised their tariff rate to 64%. The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the upcoming "Tales of the Underworld" on Disney+. Only 49% of quiztakers knew that this 6-part anthology series would be exploring the underworld of the galaxy, home to rogues, smugglers, and crime bosses, in the same vein as 2022's "Tales of the Jedi" and 2024's "Tales of the Empire". The series will include the return of fan favorite Asajj Ventress and her yellow light saber from "The Clone Wars" and several video games. The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which sports bar chain filed for bankruptcy last week. 88% of quiztakers knew that when millenials want to see boobs, they can pull out their cell phone and see boobs whenever they want and there is no need to pay for overpriced wings at Hooters. It's a long time coming, and I think the new generation is looking for good service at affordable prices rather than skin - not to mention the reputational damage of things like the Toy Yoda event over the years. Their best hope is a complete rebrand, including the name. If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday. (view entire blog) Log in (at the top of the page) to enable voting. View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest Log in (at the top of the page) to enable voting. View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest Redisplay/refresh comments