President Donald Trump has floated the notion of annexing, colonizing, acclimatizing or otherwise rendering as the 51st state the grossly underpopulated country of Canada. While some peaceniks reflexively decry this as nation-building and muscle-flexing, it is eminently fascinating, if not quite eminent domain-worthy. Having recently visited these northern climes, I thought it might be helpful to decision-makers and citizens on both sides of the border — or, as I term it, the “wall of fir and fur” — to set out a list of pros and cons for this provocative proposal. While I am dubious, aye, readers should form their own conclusion. In the pro-annexation column Because of the American dollar’s strength against the weird-looking bills they have up there, you can get a lot more sugar-bang for the buck pouring Canadian maple syrup over your pancakes versus Vermont’s prissier product, with the caveat that in no circumstances should you succumb to the Quebecois preference for crepes. For those with an anti-tariff, retail-friendly agenda, consumers can benefit from a price war between Tim Horton’s and Dunkin’ for morning coffee and crullers. The heavy-footed drivers among us will be amazed at the ability to take to the highway at 115 KPH; it feels really great in a Prius that has never seen even 70 mph. The Minnesota-magnified vowel sounds and all those “ayes” are weirdly endearing. With Trump in charge, we can convert to rest stops those pesky border crossings where they ask if you’re transporting cannabis — do I look like a stoner? We get Vancouver, which is, to my eyes, far prettier than Seattle but with a more hidden homelessness problem. The funicular, located in Quebec City, is a cool Scrabble word, and it makes uphill easier. The Toronto Maple Leafs: the best advertisement for seeing your dentist regularly. Women can wear Uggs, and I my furry slippers, even in its few weeks of summer. Snow tires, studded tires and tire chains give us lots of macho winter driving accessories. Last but definitely not least, Schwartz’s Deli in Montreal has tastiest smoked meat on the planet. Extra points for Celine Dion buying it so it will never be updated or gentrified. In the contra Canada column Sand traps beat snow traps on Trump golf courses. Who uses a shovel-wedge iron? The next generation of draft-dodgers will be unable to jump the new wall to Mexico. Its thin population density exacerbates the U.S. surgeon general’s loneliness epidemic. Socialized medicine means you might have to wait months to get an unpronounceable prescription. They still have something with King Charles; we rid ourselves of the British in 1776. We already own Alaska. I can’t see why we want more arctic tundra to have to mow. If we really wanted more cold climate, there wouldn’t be snowbirds flying to Florida. Everybody has to ice skate, which is ungainly, embarrassing and hard on the coccyx. Let’s talk music. They revere Joni Mitchell’s “Blue” album over Bob Dylan’s “Tangled Up in Blue.” She has a few songs, but let’s get real: Where is her Nobel Prize for Literature? Even if you add a few ringers to their songster chorus line with Leonard Cohen, Neil Young, Gordon Lightfoot, Ian & Sylvia and even all but one member of The Band — plus put a thumb on their scale for bringing out the best in Dylan in 1966 — we still own the musical heft of not only Dylan but the Beach Boys, Aretha Franklin, Willie Nelson, Stevie Wonder, Elvis Presley, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, I could go on and on. Even if you throw in Celine Dion on their side, including her aforementioned preservation of the corned beef capital of the world, still her residency was in Las Vegas not Montreal. The Canadian national anthem: Agreed it is easier to sing than ours, but do you want to hear it at every game, even if only for the National Hockey League? It’s not in a Francis Scott key. Now we’ll have to start gerrymandering provinces, and that is another pound of Lox. In conclusion Reasonable men may differ over the merits of taking on all of the Americas, but then where do we stop? That other chilly neck of the woods, Greenland, has been mooted as well. I suppose one can at least get a good Danish there, but its icy desolation makes Canada seem tropical, and there are no major league teams there. Turning south to Panama, they’ve got a heck of a water feature for penthouse views, but the Gulf of America is enough cultural appropriation for now. I don’t think you can surf the Canal or fly-fish the locks, so let it be. Blame Canada.