We all grow up believing in the idea of a perfect love, the kind that lasts forever and conquers all odds. But real life is rarely that simple. Partners cheat. Trust breaks. The illusion of 'happily ever after' shatters, revealing just how fragile relationships can be. Take Pooja (name changed) for example. Her husband fought with his family to marry her, they built a life together, raised two sons and fifteen years later, he cheated. Or Sriram (name changed), who married his childhood sweetheart only to discover on their honeymoon that she was also seeing someone else. To their close friends, these stories were shocking. How could two people so deeply in love betray one another? Because love or what we think of as love isn’t always enough. And human relationships are far more layered than we admit. Love Alone Doesn’t Sustain a Relationship “Relationships are a lot of hard work. You can’t afford to get complacent,” says psychologist Dr. Rachna K Singh. “People believe that once they are married, they belong to each other for life. But it doesn’t work that way. Vulnerability, unspoken differences, unmet desires, all these can create cracks where other people slip in.” Speaking to Times Now, Dr. Tammy Nelson, Resident Sex and Relationship Expert at Ashley Madison explains, "People have affairs for all kinds of reasons, not just for sex or because they are unhappy. Infidelity can stem from emotional neglect, a need for validation, unresolved issues or even a search for parts of themselves they feel they have lost.” We also need to understand that affairs aren’t always calculated. Sometimes they are impulsive. But more often, they stem from disconnection, secrecy and emotional loneliness. As Dr. Nelson puts it- “We don’t necessarily look for someone else, we look to be someone else.” At times, it’s life transitions like pregnancy or delivery complications that create silent struggles between couples. These issues often go unspoken and the emotional distance grows. When someone comes along who offers comfort or makes one partner feel seen again, attraction blooms not always intentionally, but powerfully. Not All Affairs Mean The End Of A Marriage Surprisingly, many couples don’t end their relationships when an affair is discovered. Some use it as a turning point, a moment to confront the issues they have been avoiding. “The affair becomes a wake-up call, not always a death sentence. It can even lead to a more honest, emotionally connected, and erotic partnership,” says Dr. Nelson. In fact, experts believe it’s impossible to fully 'affair-proof' a relationship. But what you can do is build resilience. This means open communication, mutual understanding, ongoing conversations about monogamy and boundaries and a deep commitment to growing together. You have to make daily efforts to make your partner feel seen, heard, and loved but you can’t do that unless you love yourself first. A depleted self cannot give or receive love. Some people suspect cheating but choose to look the other way. Like Shweta (name changed), who noticed her husband’s secretive phone habits, strange perfumes on his shirts and growing distance but stayed silent. Or Rishi (name changed) who found flirty messages between his wife and a male colleague but chose not to confront her. “She loves me. And if she finds something outside that I can't give her, I am okay with it. Our family and peace at home matter more," he says. Psychologists say denial can be a form of emotional self-protection. For someone who can’t financially or emotionally walk away, it may feel safer to preserve the illusion of fidelity than confront the reality of betrayal. Others may even prefer an unspoken open relationship - a 'don’t ask, don’t tell' dynamic, as long as respect and boundaries are in place. Is Loyalty Overrated? The question lingers: Is loyalty still the gold standard of love? Dr Nelson warns, “Loyalty is essential but blind loyalty can be dangerous. Loyalty without communication and transparency can give a false sense of safety while hiding resentment or betrayal. In modern relationships, loyalty should be about honesty and emotional presence not just sexual exclusivity.” Often, it’s not sex but emotional intimacy that hurts more. When a partner shares their deepest thoughts, fears or dreams with someone else, the betrayal can feel more personal, even more devastating. It all comes down to the agreement a couple thought they had. Whether broken through a physical act or an emotional bond, infidelity wounds when it violates the emotional contract both partners believed in. When It’s Time to Let Go But it is also important to understand that not all relationships are meant to last. And that’s okay. Sometimes, the affair or the suspicion of one highlights a deeper truth: that the couple has grown apart and staying together may no longer serve either of them. We must learn to reconcile with the idea that love, even when it’s deep and genuine, doesn’t always guarantee forever. Some partnerships come into our lives to teach us, to help us grow, to give us joy for a time and then they are meant to end. Recognising that and choosing to part with dignity and clarity, can be healthier than clinging to something broken. "You can’t prevent betrayal by control or constant vigilance. But you can build and nurture a relationship with mutual respect, emotional safety and daily care," says Dr Singh. Send those little “thinking of you” messages. Go on those forgotten dinner dates. Pay attention. Communicate. Listen. And when things feel off, talk, don’t wait. Still, know this that even if you do everything right, some relationships may not survive. And that’s not failure. That’s life.